"Most white feminists look at me disdainfully when I recount some of my choice violent moments. They are appalled, morally repelled by this unbecoming behavior. One even giggled, holding her breastbone ever so lightly and saying she’s not the violent type, blah blah blah. The messages are, 1) I’m educated and you’re not, 2) I’m upper class and you’re not, 3) I’m a feminist and you’re not (since her brand of feminism is equated with nonviolent moon-to-uterus symbiosis). My “men” can do the fighting, but I, gentle maiden, shan’t; the new feminism remaking a generation in the image of the suburban, wealthy, sophisticated, genetically genteel. No one protected me when a loved one cracked my head on a public street one might, not even the college educated Upper West Side white women strolling by pretending not to notice. I don’t like getting hit either, but what are you gonna do when someone grabs your tits? Meekly whisper you won’t stoop to your attackers level? and what level is that exactly? if that’s the way “women” react, how do we classify the elderly Filipinas on a subway train who, when Joe Dickwad grabbed my ass, congratulated me for whacking him as hard as I could, screaming obscenities, and chasing him - to his utter shock and dismay - through the station? They were the few who seemed to acknowledge, respect, and allow for “aggressive” forms of resistance instead of strapping on moral straightjackets for the nineties which we “women” must squeeze into. If that’s a woman, I’m not one. I am an animal who eats, sleeps, fucks, and fights voraciously - I assume a “good” woman does it gently and in the missionary position only."
Veena Cabreros-Sud, Kicking Ass (via queen-bloodmouth)
Yes yes yes!
I used to be more violent and ran with women more violent.
I regret nothing. I fought because I was put in situations where I needed to. College town bars were particulary bad and I never was safe. And if I hadn’t been reactionary and aggressive I might have been hurt far worse. There is nothing gentle about surviving. And being aggressive saved me and friends multiple times.
Only reason I had to stop is I went into teaching and became a public servant—I couldn’t chance that on my record. And it was hard to feel like I had to depend on others to do the defending. But at the end of the day, I became a homebody since it was the easiest way to avoid confrontation. Violent survival is still survival.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how being able not to be violent is a super privileged position in society.